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Hello. The blog is still under construction,there will be more changes to it.

On my way to school today, Daddy and i talked about DARYL:)
He asked about his mum and his dad:)
Im so happy.
Daddy finally said,"DARYL....."
I smiled while walking to school.
He asked quite alot of questions:)
Dad&Mum allowed me to go malacca with Daryl's Family:) ( i think the chengting worked one them:X)



* i hope everything will follow the plan. i really hopes:(
im graduating real soon after attachment.
Im not attached to any companies yet.
Starting to think what i want for myself.
Starting to think about paths i should choose for myself.
What do i really want.
What do i really need.
I dn need to get influenced by others to choose my own path.
''Poets often use many words to say a simple thing
it takes thoughts and time and ryhme to make a poet sing
these words i have written for you
for you i have written a song
to be sure that you know what i'm saying
i'll translate as i go along

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like on jupiter and mars
in other words,hold my hand
in other words,baby kiss me

Fill my heart with song
And let me sing forever more
you are all i lond for all i worship and adore
In other words,please be true
In other words,i love you

Fly me to the moon
and let me play among the stars
let me see what spring is like on jupiter and mars
In other words,hold my hand
In other words,baby kiss me

fill my heart with song
And let me sind forever more
you are all i long for all i worship and adore
In other words,please be true (sing high)
In other words,i love you (hold)''



We celebrated our 1st year anniversary over the weekends & we spent quality time with each others. Isnt it fast? we got together one year ago...Been through rain and shine,tears and laughters...whatever it is. I appreciate everything that we had been through whether its fun or trouble...Thanks for showering me love. Thanks for all the flowers...Thanks for all the precious sacrifises.Thanks for the understanding...Thanks for the LOVe. Lets have many more anniversaries:)
I LOVE YOU,DARYL TAN CHIN HAN:)
omg! I super cant wait to celebrate BOB's bday tmrw...planned for so long. Nothing fantastic...Just a day of relaxation... 3 itenaries:x i hope he love it! &&&&&&& PPL! pls do remind me to bring camera...ELSE I WILL CRY! If & ELSE:X hahah! TRY & CATCH:X C # ppl! haha! whatever...tmrw will be a damn busy day! im so looking forward...Happy birthday to bob in advance. BOB BOB.

Next weekend too! its our first year:) my god! freaking excited! wer gg somewhere else... but still on sunny island ,SINGAPORE. OMGOMGOMG!!!! cant wait! HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARY TO US IN SUPER ADVANCE:X

NANANANANANANANA!

anyway its week 9 alr...& my project simply isnt out yet,SHINGZ..wish me luck seriously. It'd better be a C+ at least:X praypraypray.


MEOWMEOWMEOW:)

THE END

Sometimes i do think back.
i guess its miscommunications.
& i know my nature... im very straightforward at times till i neglect others feelings.
but,did you even bother to give our _ another chance?
i didnt tell anyone except for my partner about that problem we were facing that time.
Guess maybe u did broadcast.
Forget it.
Its tiring.
if ur attempt was to make me guilty then congrats.
im alr fucking guilty.
Ive been trying quite a few times...but mostly negative...
idk what else to say.
so bye.
damn fucking sian.
REMEMBER ALL THE NEGATIVE THINGS THEN.
IT WILL ONLY MAKE U HAPPIER.
I MIGHT EVEN APPEAR TO BE A BURDEN TO YOU.
leave things like now then..you will be that happy then.

Dedicated to my love,DARYL TAN CHIN HAN:)

honey, thanks for everything...We will stand strong tgt till the very end.
I LOVE YOU.

LOVE the way that lil girl clung onto me when she first saw me.
Even when she just woke up,she didn't cry upon seeing me:)
she will just walk to me and slowly cling onto my leg:)
Even when she was having fever yest,she asked me to carry her when i saw her:)
its such a warm welcome isn't it?
妈妈对我说,"我从没看过怎么烂的人."


ive learnt alot during the long weekend i had.
I realised im the cause of many things...
i can blame no one but myself...
This is life & i got to accept it.
This is how others define respect.
We all see things differently & dn expect the same treatment anymore...
cause _ make me disrespect what _ had done.


as for my bf..he is doing well now.
i guess he is back by me...
& wer good i guess:)
thats all ive got to say.


Yesterday was my small 10:)
had a tiff with bf in the afternoon but everything was back to normal after short.
met after school and went MANPUKU FOR DINNER:)
hmm what should we say,the food there wasnt nice...looked appealing but..taste normal.
dessert was okay too...
most importantly we had fun:)
watched time travellers' wife & i wailed.WAHA!
its nice. but he laughed at me for wailing.

had a tiff with parents again.
forget it...i will stop telling them and just stop everything since they are not listening
NO POINT INFORMING TOO.
im old enough to decide.
to my sister;i hope she understand. She didnt go through what im experiencing and never thought of how i felt. for this issue,shes always like that. It made me wonder why. Is it because u want peace at home and neglect my feelings?
to my family;should i jsut stfu when im at home? eat dinner alone? ignore everything? walk away if possible? be transparent?Dad once said this," as long as shes happy". So as long as my sister is happy? what about me? what am i suppose to do? i cant share anything with you guys...cause you guys wont listen..this is disturbing im out of here.BYE


IM LIVING MY LIFE LIKE A ROBOT NOW.
LOSING MY FREEDOM OF SPEECH DUE TO FYP.
we were restricted to stuffs we can blog and post on fb.
waking up at 615am everday and reaching school at 730am when fyp starts at 830am.
ends at 6 pm.
sometimes,the sweet bf will fetch be.
just like yest,he surprised me:)
i only realised its him when i took at second look:) hee!
to be honest, im sleep deprieved now.
i feel that ive got no life now..only can spend ample time on weekends with that boy but hes gg army real soon in no time.
GOD PLEASE DONATE SOMETIME TO ME:)
im scared...
but no one will believe it.
in fact, im still shaking...
cant wait to get rid my mountain of notes & stare at my precious:)
haha! but exams over means music exam:( sucked.
stopping after this exam...
cause will be busy for fyp & attachment
but after all exams precious will be in CAMP but clerk?hehe:) means after work dinner tgt:)
please pray that IBM wants me:x so i can cab to work with my sissy:)
im slacking:x

Help me check whats the definition for __V_ pls.
cause i am kind of confused about that word i used to understand so confidently.

Blogger is still weird.
i cant upload photos. HOW NICE.
anyway,i told my dad about daryl yesterday & was very shocked to know that he knew it was daryl all along.
All he told me was, he wont really approve & that he thinks that its too early:)
but he never say anything else.
im happy:) cause he didnt scold me.
i swear i trembled so much that i was about to pass out.
He even let me drive his car out alone today:) & i sneakishly drove daryl out for a while.

Yesterday i went dinner with daryl and his family at downtown and after that they decided to drop off the kids and go for a drink.
I had so much fun at the drinking session.
His uncles and aunties played number code and 5-10-15 with us.
Drank so much cause they opened a bottle of martell to share at lunar.
Its a cool place to hangout with all the chinese songs and stuffs.
HAHA.i had a great day...

& im completing my case study presentation now ...so long...
byebye.
Trying to save my blog.
blogger have been giving me lots of prob recently.
that explains why i stopped blogging.
i cant blog photos and stuffs anymore...

Life have been really good recently.
bdays...
family outings/dinner with bf's.(the kids love me=x)
school was great too(me and mich just had our shaker fries just now! satisfying)

will wait for blogger to solve their prob before i posts photos and stuffs up:)

Saturday was great.
Despite having some inconvenience, i still headed to jurong east with love and friends thanks to some great creations.
had a great time got a lil bit tanned. Didn't regret.
After that we went to marina square for bday celebration with deerick.
& watched I LOVE YOU,MAN.
funny movie.
After that we all went home
I love the trips whereby love will drive everyone using lorry:)
so fun.

It was a long day.
Everyone didn't have enough sleep as we went home at 5am plus the night before.
All the funny stuffs happened in secondary school & all the man's talk.
it was abit awkward but okay.
Oh ya, i drove myself using Vince car that night cause he was in lorry with love:)
it was FANTASTIC!
I'm a good driver=x

Oh ya. Friday we celebrated fathers' day and my cousins' bday. it was fun and will post the photos later.
I love my family:)

today was supposed to go sungei buloh with loves' family but the plan was cancelled due to some reasons. But its OK:) Love say we will be going out at night.

that's all for now.
Everything will be okay. No more worries. No more cryings.No more missings.
one week of my hols is gone...
Rmber doing anything exciting or fun?
not really.
Maybe class outing that day was quite fun...
other than that....
i dn rmber at all...
i rmber sleeping alot and staying home quite alot...
the worst thing was having piano lesson for two days in a week but who cares.

My box of dried daisies. I lost count of it...always make them into dried flowers and keep it:) Its all from HIM!

i love you:)

loved the pink daisies leaning against the blue wall...
wished to have a birthday celebration this year with different groups of friends...
but i dont know.
i guess birthday this year wont be as HAPPY.
i want to meet up some people too...but i dont have the courage...
im scared of getting rejected.
few days ago...i encountered "rejection" i guess.
its unpleasant and love told me to just tolerate since ive stated my views.
but... i dontknow.
i just want a HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
looking forward and not looking forward...


i wish that you& you will celebrate for me this year too...
one of the you will celebrate with me this year again...
i dont know...im scared and im sad.
ive got no balls.
will you let bygones be bygones? hmmm...
i hope so.

ps;im lost & i know is sob like a loser alone!
EVERYONE IS GOING TO TAKE A BREAK:)
how long?
we don't know.
But a break is MANDATORY for us now.
Let bygones be bygones.
Ive came down to a conclusion after a night of thinking...
Im a perfectionist in some point of view. I wish that good things happen to me and make sure people around me were also having their own good time.Taking care of things in a way that will not only the best for me but also for the others.

Decided to stop making too much effort or even put in a single bit of effort to many.
i realised that sometimes putting in more effort to some friends than others might not work,thinking that its worth it when in the end of the day...it might be wasted.

Many took me for granted. When i put in effort, they took it lightly or worst, naturally. I choose to treat people nicely but they dont seemed to appreciate.

When i stop making effort in our friendships & leave them alone, they took it that i forgot everything about them especially when i got attached. Some didnt even make effort in return...
so sorry.ONE WAY TICKET doesnt work for my case.

So now, i will leave my own life deciding everything myself. If i need advises, i will seek for it from others. Theres always many ppl who asked to me to take the first step, yes, i did it alot of times...so what? do people really appreciate? you want me to treat you nice? me too? i want the same treatment maybe not as nice but if you made effort...WHY NOT?

IF you realised that i stopped doing things to you...you should be scared or maybe delighted. Cause maybe you might be out of my life already. Maybe i dont even care about you that much anymore...i always believed that, friends should care about each other...not always me caring for you.

If i care for you then good for you.

ps; im sick of caring too much...I should really live my life not bothering so much.
To P,
i hope you understand my intention & i know all along your intention was to bring us back to the past. im sorry. i really hope you understand.

Went out with L today & had lunch at fish & co (that glass house) Then headed to fred perry clearance sales at Grand Cathay. Bought dad a polo tee for Father's Day & rewarded myself with one for being filial:x & i had a great day. Thanks for pouring out, i felt better knowing everything. I swear its not stupid & im sorry for making you feel that way. It seems that i am apologising to many.... I screwed up many things i know...

Wednesdays are FIELDTRIP DAYS/ SPORTS DAY for DBT0704 students.
This time round we travelled down to NATIONAL MUSEUM OF SINGAPORE.
I wasnt excited at all...cause the night before the trip, Michelle Ang Shu Hui got selected to go for the tekong trip! When shes the one whose most unwilling to go! Was telling her that i wondered why is it that shes such a ShuHeng. Then when we were in school, she and some other selected students from our class dragged their way through brunch and didnt go for the Tekong trip.Zomg they actually boycott it. Like SERIOUSLY. Then she told me shes going to NMS with me again! i was super happy cause it will be the last FREE TRIPS for us. Hha. Cheapo. Ive got my partner,what have you?

Talking about it, few days back when mich asked me to be her partner i was so freaking touched! Do you want to know exactly how i felt? LIKE A POKEMON! just like that person went like,"PIKACHU! I CHOOSE YOU!" hahaha. damn lame i know. ok shut.

Oh ya sports day was supposed to be held at WOODLANDS every wednesday after field trips. But i never fail to not attend. Cause its freaking far and till freaking late. I seriously dont understand how they tolerate the exhausion. Accumulating it isnt fun, Agnes can prove it. So Agnes, after today, did you learnt your lesson yet?HEHE!We had few hours before the trip so we played badminton,basketball & snap photos. I played badminton with AGNES! I perspired.eeks!

Then we headed down to NMS when the bus arrived. Mich and me were like gossiping about _ haha! someone not in our class,dont worry.haha! irritating....dont like_ Attention seeking...grrr. Anyway when we arrived, we took many class photos & so much laughter and i seriously enjoyed the whole trip except for the spooky galleries that freaked me and michelle out!(michelle even need to pull some guys to accompany us,its so freaking dark,the girls were so far ahead of us...mich stood in between me and the guys.)

After the whole thing love ask vince to fetch me over since hes somemore near me and he was driving and i was able to see love in less than an hour w/o all the travellings alone. Poor boy got diarrhea.awe. Then after that we went for Terminator:) Guess who we share at the entrance of the cinema? JOE,KAREN, ISABELLE & CHARLOTTE. Charlotte looked at me blurly for a sec then smile sweetly at me:) Isabelle was surprised to see me too:) They went for NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2. Family outing, how cute:) Hmmm the movie i watched was great just that the cinema was abit chilly. Afterall wednesday was GREAT as i enjoyed though before i sleep i tasted abit of hell....hmmm great i should shut up and let the pictures do the naggings:)

I felt alot and i dont feel like mentioning...the gathering was fun i guess...
edit tmrw:)

Signing off with my lovely face! MEOW!

anyway, bf came to fetch me from school today...he drifted like a ghost across my classroom then drift back again! he looked like a ghost. i was feeling superb when i saw him:) its great seeing him after like how long? i guess 24 hours? haha! school was definitely great with fantastic accompany. MICHIE ASKED ME TO SIT WITH HER FOR FIELD TRIP AGAIN! YEAY! ive got a partner , AGAIN! cant wait to go school tmrw and be super occupied so that i wont....yupps! so yeay! im gg to school to be busy! will try my best...MAKE ME OCCUPIED! dn wish to think about some stuffs. && oh ya mich told me how to shake my head w/o letting others know...i wished i could slap her real hard for being stupid! &&& we had tattoo class during the last hour of school. we drew each other...she drew a snake one my wrist.haha! stupid. alright. i shall wait for photos tmrw again:)

GOOD LUCK XIONG FOR YOUR TP!!! can one la...

原来...

im happy to know that he was worried sick...
twice within 24 hours...
never felt like that before.

I loved to know the fact that my love actually missed me or even wished that i could be there with him when he is going through whatever he is going through.I wish to shower him with all my love knowing that its worthwhile...Trying to do things or even run simple errands for him willingly.

I wish to see love in the morning when i go school at times...but i always worry about love gg home alone after that...Thats why i never expect that before...I also hate that my love will be doing things alone when i should be by him. When girls approach will love give the you-think-i-care stare? i dont think so, cause he's the Mr.Nice guy... I want love to gain my trust and make me trust him wholeheartedly. I hate it when my love lie or hide things from me... Just like a game of hide-and-seek, SHADY. Being honest is an important element to maintain the relationship.

I want to get appreciated when i make effort, just like love.I never like the one-way ticket idea...You should always give and take...I want to be more forgiving like love.I dont want to be the best girlfriend cause i know i am alr:) but im not perfect. i know i might not be special to any, but at least i know im special to love...Just like he is special to me.

To be honest i dont know why im typing this post... My love have been good so far. There will definitely be bumps here and there but we got over fast. Many have invested confidence in our relationship too...i dont take that for granted and i am happy that many wished us too...i guess i know why im typing this post alr...CAUSE I MISS MY LOVE & I ONLY GET TO SEE HIM LATER AT NIGHT:( i took a nap in the afternoon yesterday & i dreamt about love...

i shall declare that i got hit by the BOBBY VIRUS...

ps; if you dont care, do you think i care?try me & we'll see whose the one w/o the balls...you know i know....you dont know:)

Anyway school was only like 3 short hours. All we got to see was MR LAM. For the very first time, i did his practical & completed it. It was Smooth. Then school ended at 12pm so the girls thought of gg amk hub for the curry fishhead. Me and cath shared a pot=x while agnes mich and angela shared another...and i ate one and a half plate of rice!!! shared with cath... i was really happy:) Mich told me that shes very shock and happy to know that im going:) i felt so appreciated to make the effort despite of me being lethargic. After gobbling down curry fishhead, we went to coffeebean to chill. Joked & gossip like the old times and mich laughed till she teared...Angela was very tired and was then kind of quiet. Then she suggested that we head home so there we go...HOME. me and cath took bus 22. She dozed off at many occassions. i reached home at 4 pm plus..god, agnes must be sleeping already... i reached home & i K.O.

oh ya! ANGELINA SCANLON(VB COACH) IS EXPECTING HER THIRD BABY! She name her, KAYA. cause shes craving for kaya toast....

"
Hi everyone,

The Scanlons would like to annouce that we are expecting our 3rd child.
Yea, I know. We are as shocked as you are. And James is still holding on to his seat.
Both Brighid and Shannon are very excited.
We decided to name it Kaya for now. Cos I am constantly, crazily craving for kaya toasts.
Kaya is 10 weeks old now.

Brighid, Shannon and I will be back in Singapore 20 Jun to 19 Jul and we look forward to catch up with those in Singapore then.

Enjoy the shock!
Cheers,
James, Angel, Brighid, Shannon & Kaya ""


So i guess, The real vb gathering will be REAL SOON. anwyay tmrw theres one. HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL....hmmm....we will be gg hotpot culture i heard. tmrw will be a busy day...nana.BUT SCHOOL STARTS AT 11am and ENDS at 1pm...how cool or it might end even earlier cause theres test....argh...

AND! I WENT DOWN TO NTUC WITH MY PARENTS AND COUSIN TO ET SOME GROCERIES!
the girls were like talking about it today...haha! we all love to shop for groceries with PARENTS! &&& i BOUGHT RAINBOW ICE CREAM! im so happy...its so colorful:D & bf is jealous:x


ps;miraculously,i didnt meet my bf at all today cause im simply too tired:) missed him v much...






i really need to blog about school, field trips(newater),6th anni with boy, driving, me and some random outings with the boy and guys or even family?!

i had a bowling session with precious today and i won one game! i striked once=x and i had many gutter balls! muahaha! & chilled as carl's jr till late after that... ouhyea.talking about girls and blablabla. talking about goodol'times.

oh ya! random stuffs i told him this,"you si liao ji bai".
he thought i scold him,"you si lao .. ...".
he was freaked out!


&&& im so tired. bubbye. waiting for pictures to roll in for newater and will blog...SOON.


Few years back, a factory called,"J- - -" produced 4 pairs of chopsticks. The 8 individuals were very dependent of each other. Nothing could break them apart,even when if one or few of it felt weak,the others will support them and be there for them throughout the whole process. After 4 years of cooperation, the 8 individuals separated. They all left the factory to pursue their own dreams be it whether it was their choice or not. Everyone of them struggled for the first year and got used to things after that. They do meet up randomly, but some just gone MIA-ed. Now that everyone has got their own life, things were different. All of them have their own new friends now or even have their own goals now.Some might be living their life peacefully, some might be living in guilt,some might be living in hatred, some might be living happily,some might be wild. There was a pair of chopsticks who used to be very close to each other but for some reasons, they will never ever be that close again. One felt guilty and one felt hateful. Guilty tried to talk to hateful a few times but...the conversation always ended when hateful starts to get busy like she always was. But to guilty, maybe shes not ready to speak to her yet.

anyway, i dont know what more to say. It seemed to me like, im the one causing all the awkwardness in the team. Everyone is wondering how will gathering be when coach get back to town.She will get good news from me & bad new from some. Or rather, when she know the truth behind everything, she will scold me. Did i made the wrong decision? Or some are just being bitchy like usual. I wont stop anyone from bitching as it was also one of my hobby. But i just cant imagine what they bitched about though, how cruel will they be or what. But the fact that i got to admit is, the decision i made let me gain more happiness but the decision made me lose a good friend. Sometimes when i saw her online, i wished i could talk to her but im scared. I tried before...& i didn't receive a good response.Sometimes when i go back to jy for vb, i do miss her presence...i do mention her to teammates and juniors who were present at the training.

Moral of the whole post;
If I'm the cause, i wont be appearing for the gathering when it happens just to prevent any awkwardness that will put some in a difficult situation. But still, i wont admit that im at total fault.I'm living life happily though its not that perfect cause i left a puzzle that was part of my life in my locker. Hope i will get it back when the time is right.
I'AM A CERTIFIED DRIVER NOW:)
i can drive all i want.
bf made an effort to wait for me and be there for the whole session,thankyou.
Everyone is happy for me from what i know but im not very happy though.
not going to blog everything today...
AT LEAST I KNOW THAT MY SISTER AND MY COUSINS ARE HAPPY FOR ME.
i could only rmber sitting on the couch tearing when i should be smiling happily.
maybe someday when im happier i will blog the details,im sorry.


PS; DEMERITS = 10 points:) not happy with it,i was able to pass with 2 points initially.
& the first hug i get after all the trembles was from my sister though shes not supposed to be the first one who saw me.

Adopted Trees.

On my way to school today, Daddy and i talked about DARYL:)
He asked about his mum and his dad:)
Im so happy.
Daddy finally said,"DARYL....."
I smiled while walking to school.
He asked quite alot of questions:)
Dad&Mum allowed me to go malacca with Daryl's Family:) ( i think the chengting worked one them:X)



* i hope everything will follow the plan. i really hopes:(
im graduating real soon after attachment.
Im not attached to any companies yet.
Starting to think what i want for myself.
Starting to think about paths i should choose for myself.
What do i really want.
What do i really need.
I dn need to get influenced by others to choose my own path.
''Poets often use many words to say a simple thing
it takes thoughts and time and ryhme to make a poet sing
these words i have written for you
for you i have written a song
to be sure that you know what i'm saying
i'll translate as i go along

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like on jupiter and mars
in other words,hold my hand
in other words,baby kiss me

Fill my heart with song
And let me sing forever more
you are all i lond for all i worship and adore
In other words,please be true
In other words,i love you

Fly me to the moon
and let me play among the stars
let me see what spring is like on jupiter and mars
In other words,hold my hand
In other words,baby kiss me

fill my heart with song
And let me sind forever more
you are all i long for all i worship and adore
In other words,please be true (sing high)
In other words,i love you (hold)''



We celebrated our 1st year anniversary over the weekends & we spent quality time with each others. Isnt it fast? we got together one year ago...Been through rain and shine,tears and laughters...whatever it is. I appreciate everything that we had been through whether its fun or trouble...Thanks for showering me love. Thanks for all the flowers...Thanks for all the precious sacrifises.Thanks for the understanding...Thanks for the LOVe. Lets have many more anniversaries:)
I LOVE YOU,DARYL TAN CHIN HAN:)
omg! I super cant wait to celebrate BOB's bday tmrw...planned for so long. Nothing fantastic...Just a day of relaxation... 3 itenaries:x i hope he love it! &&&&&&& PPL! pls do remind me to bring camera...ELSE I WILL CRY! If & ELSE:X hahah! TRY & CATCH:X C # ppl! haha! whatever...tmrw will be a damn busy day! im so looking forward...Happy birthday to bob in advance. BOB BOB.

Next weekend too! its our first year:) my god! freaking excited! wer gg somewhere else... but still on sunny island ,SINGAPORE. OMGOMGOMG!!!! cant wait! HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARY TO US IN SUPER ADVANCE:X

NANANANANANANANA!

anyway its week 9 alr...& my project simply isnt out yet,SHINGZ..wish me luck seriously. It'd better be a C+ at least:X praypraypray.


MEOWMEOWMEOW:)

THE END

Sometimes i do think back.
i guess its miscommunications.
& i know my nature... im very straightforward at times till i neglect others feelings.
but,did you even bother to give our _ another chance?
i didnt tell anyone except for my partner about that problem we were facing that time.
Guess maybe u did broadcast.
Forget it.
Its tiring.
if ur attempt was to make me guilty then congrats.
im alr fucking guilty.
Ive been trying quite a few times...but mostly negative...
idk what else to say.
so bye.
damn fucking sian.
REMEMBER ALL THE NEGATIVE THINGS THEN.
IT WILL ONLY MAKE U HAPPIER.
I MIGHT EVEN APPEAR TO BE A BURDEN TO YOU.
leave things like now then..you will be that happy then.

Dedicated to my love,DARYL TAN CHIN HAN:)

honey, thanks for everything...We will stand strong tgt till the very end.
I LOVE YOU.

LOVE the way that lil girl clung onto me when she first saw me.
Even when she just woke up,she didn't cry upon seeing me:)
she will just walk to me and slowly cling onto my leg:)
Even when she was having fever yest,she asked me to carry her when i saw her:)
its such a warm welcome isn't it?
妈妈对我说,"我从没看过怎么烂的人."


ive learnt alot during the long weekend i had.
I realised im the cause of many things...
i can blame no one but myself...
This is life & i got to accept it.
This is how others define respect.
We all see things differently & dn expect the same treatment anymore...
cause _ make me disrespect what _ had done.


as for my bf..he is doing well now.
i guess he is back by me...
& wer good i guess:)
thats all ive got to say.


Yesterday was my small 10:)
had a tiff with bf in the afternoon but everything was back to normal after short.
met after school and went MANPUKU FOR DINNER:)
hmm what should we say,the food there wasnt nice...looked appealing but..taste normal.
dessert was okay too...
most importantly we had fun:)
watched time travellers' wife & i wailed.WAHA!
its nice. but he laughed at me for wailing.

had a tiff with parents again.
forget it...i will stop telling them and just stop everything since they are not listening
NO POINT INFORMING TOO.
im old enough to decide.
to my sister;i hope she understand. She didnt go through what im experiencing and never thought of how i felt. for this issue,shes always like that. It made me wonder why. Is it because u want peace at home and neglect my feelings?
to my family;should i jsut stfu when im at home? eat dinner alone? ignore everything? walk away if possible? be transparent?Dad once said this," as long as shes happy". So as long as my sister is happy? what about me? what am i suppose to do? i cant share anything with you guys...cause you guys wont listen..this is disturbing im out of here.BYE


IM LIVING MY LIFE LIKE A ROBOT NOW.
LOSING MY FREEDOM OF SPEECH DUE TO FYP.
we were restricted to stuffs we can blog and post on fb.
waking up at 615am everday and reaching school at 730am when fyp starts at 830am.
ends at 6 pm.
sometimes,the sweet bf will fetch be.
just like yest,he surprised me:)
i only realised its him when i took at second look:) hee!
to be honest, im sleep deprieved now.
i feel that ive got no life now..only can spend ample time on weekends with that boy but hes gg army real soon in no time.
GOD PLEASE DONATE SOMETIME TO ME:)
im scared...
but no one will believe it.
in fact, im still shaking...
cant wait to get rid my mountain of notes & stare at my precious:)
haha! but exams over means music exam:( sucked.
stopping after this exam...
cause will be busy for fyp & attachment
but after all exams precious will be in CAMP but clerk?hehe:) means after work dinner tgt:)
please pray that IBM wants me:x so i can cab to work with my sissy:)
im slacking:x

Help me check whats the definition for __V_ pls.
cause i am kind of confused about that word i used to understand so confidently.

Blogger is still weird.
i cant upload photos. HOW NICE.
anyway,i told my dad about daryl yesterday & was very shocked to know that he knew it was daryl all along.
All he told me was, he wont really approve & that he thinks that its too early:)
but he never say anything else.
im happy:) cause he didnt scold me.
i swear i trembled so much that i was about to pass out.
He even let me drive his car out alone today:) & i sneakishly drove daryl out for a while.

Yesterday i went dinner with daryl and his family at downtown and after that they decided to drop off the kids and go for a drink.
I had so much fun at the drinking session.
His uncles and aunties played number code and 5-10-15 with us.
Drank so much cause they opened a bottle of martell to share at lunar.
Its a cool place to hangout with all the chinese songs and stuffs.
HAHA.i had a great day...

& im completing my case study presentation now ...so long...
byebye.
Trying to save my blog.
blogger have been giving me lots of prob recently.
that explains why i stopped blogging.
i cant blog photos and stuffs anymore...

Life have been really good recently.
bdays...
family outings/dinner with bf's.(the kids love me=x)
school was great too(me and mich just had our shaker fries just now! satisfying)

will wait for blogger to solve their prob before i posts photos and stuffs up:)

Saturday was great.
Despite having some inconvenience, i still headed to jurong east with love and friends thanks to some great creations.
had a great time got a lil bit tanned. Didn't regret.
After that we went to marina square for bday celebration with deerick.
& watched I LOVE YOU,MAN.
funny movie.
After that we all went home
I love the trips whereby love will drive everyone using lorry:)
so fun.

It was a long day.
Everyone didn't have enough sleep as we went home at 5am plus the night before.
All the funny stuffs happened in secondary school & all the man's talk.
it was abit awkward but okay.
Oh ya, i drove myself using Vince car that night cause he was in lorry with love:)
it was FANTASTIC!
I'm a good driver=x

Oh ya. Friday we celebrated fathers' day and my cousins' bday. it was fun and will post the photos later.
I love my family:)

today was supposed to go sungei buloh with loves' family but the plan was cancelled due to some reasons. But its OK:) Love say we will be going out at night.

that's all for now.
Everything will be okay. No more worries. No more cryings.No more missings.
one week of my hols is gone...
Rmber doing anything exciting or fun?
not really.
Maybe class outing that day was quite fun...
other than that....
i dn rmber at all...
i rmber sleeping alot and staying home quite alot...
the worst thing was having piano lesson for two days in a week but who cares.

My box of dried daisies. I lost count of it...always make them into dried flowers and keep it:) Its all from HIM!

i love you:)

loved the pink daisies leaning against the blue wall...
wished to have a birthday celebration this year with different groups of friends...
but i dont know.
i guess birthday this year wont be as HAPPY.
i want to meet up some people too...but i dont have the courage...
im scared of getting rejected.
few days ago...i encountered "rejection" i guess.
its unpleasant and love told me to just tolerate since ive stated my views.
but... i dontknow.
i just want a HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
looking forward and not looking forward...


i wish that you& you will celebrate for me this year too...
one of the you will celebrate with me this year again...
i dont know...im scared and im sad.
ive got no balls.
will you let bygones be bygones? hmmm...
i hope so.

ps;im lost & i know is sob like a loser alone!
EVERYONE IS GOING TO TAKE A BREAK:)
how long?
we don't know.
But a break is MANDATORY for us now.
Let bygones be bygones.
Ive came down to a conclusion after a night of thinking...
Im a perfectionist in some point of view. I wish that good things happen to me and make sure people around me were also having their own good time.Taking care of things in a way that will not only the best for me but also for the others.

Decided to stop making too much effort or even put in a single bit of effort to many.
i realised that sometimes putting in more effort to some friends than others might not work,thinking that its worth it when in the end of the day...it might be wasted.

Many took me for granted. When i put in effort, they took it lightly or worst, naturally. I choose to treat people nicely but they dont seemed to appreciate.

When i stop making effort in our friendships & leave them alone, they took it that i forgot everything about them especially when i got attached. Some didnt even make effort in return...
so sorry.ONE WAY TICKET doesnt work for my case.

So now, i will leave my own life deciding everything myself. If i need advises, i will seek for it from others. Theres always many ppl who asked to me to take the first step, yes, i did it alot of times...so what? do people really appreciate? you want me to treat you nice? me too? i want the same treatment maybe not as nice but if you made effort...WHY NOT?

IF you realised that i stopped doing things to you...you should be scared or maybe delighted. Cause maybe you might be out of my life already. Maybe i dont even care about you that much anymore...i always believed that, friends should care about each other...not always me caring for you.

If i care for you then good for you.

ps; im sick of caring too much...I should really live my life not bothering so much.
To P,
i hope you understand my intention & i know all along your intention was to bring us back to the past. im sorry. i really hope you understand.

Went out with L today & had lunch at fish & co (that glass house) Then headed to fred perry clearance sales at Grand Cathay. Bought dad a polo tee for Father's Day & rewarded myself with one for being filial:x & i had a great day. Thanks for pouring out, i felt better knowing everything. I swear its not stupid & im sorry for making you feel that way. It seems that i am apologising to many.... I screwed up many things i know...

Wednesdays are FIELDTRIP DAYS/ SPORTS DAY for DBT0704 students.
This time round we travelled down to NATIONAL MUSEUM OF SINGAPORE.
I wasnt excited at all...cause the night before the trip, Michelle Ang Shu Hui got selected to go for the tekong trip! When shes the one whose most unwilling to go! Was telling her that i wondered why is it that shes such a ShuHeng. Then when we were in school, she and some other selected students from our class dragged their way through brunch and didnt go for the Tekong trip.Zomg they actually boycott it. Like SERIOUSLY. Then she told me shes going to NMS with me again! i was super happy cause it will be the last FREE TRIPS for us. Hha. Cheapo. Ive got my partner,what have you?

Talking about it, few days back when mich asked me to be her partner i was so freaking touched! Do you want to know exactly how i felt? LIKE A POKEMON! just like that person went like,"PIKACHU! I CHOOSE YOU!" hahaha. damn lame i know. ok shut.

Oh ya sports day was supposed to be held at WOODLANDS every wednesday after field trips. But i never fail to not attend. Cause its freaking far and till freaking late. I seriously dont understand how they tolerate the exhausion. Accumulating it isnt fun, Agnes can prove it. So Agnes, after today, did you learnt your lesson yet?HEHE!We had few hours before the trip so we played badminton,basketball & snap photos. I played badminton with AGNES! I perspired.eeks!

Then we headed down to NMS when the bus arrived. Mich and me were like gossiping about _ haha! someone not in our class,dont worry.haha! irritating....dont like_ Attention seeking...grrr. Anyway when we arrived, we took many class photos & so much laughter and i seriously enjoyed the whole trip except for the spooky galleries that freaked me and michelle out!(michelle even need to pull some guys to accompany us,its so freaking dark,the girls were so far ahead of us...mich stood in between me and the guys.)

After the whole thing love ask vince to fetch me over since hes somemore near me and he was driving and i was able to see love in less than an hour w/o all the travellings alone. Poor boy got diarrhea.awe. Then after that we went for Terminator:) Guess who we share at the entrance of the cinema? JOE,KAREN, ISABELLE & CHARLOTTE. Charlotte looked at me blurly for a sec then smile sweetly at me:) Isabelle was surprised to see me too:) They went for NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2. Family outing, how cute:) Hmmm the movie i watched was great just that the cinema was abit chilly. Afterall wednesday was GREAT as i enjoyed though before i sleep i tasted abit of hell....hmmm great i should shut up and let the pictures do the naggings:)

I felt alot and i dont feel like mentioning...the gathering was fun i guess...
edit tmrw:)

Signing off with my lovely face! MEOW!

anyway, bf came to fetch me from school today...he drifted like a ghost across my classroom then drift back again! he looked like a ghost. i was feeling superb when i saw him:) its great seeing him after like how long? i guess 24 hours? haha! school was definitely great with fantastic accompany. MICHIE ASKED ME TO SIT WITH HER FOR FIELD TRIP AGAIN! YEAY! ive got a partner , AGAIN! cant wait to go school tmrw and be super occupied so that i wont....yupps! so yeay! im gg to school to be busy! will try my best...MAKE ME OCCUPIED! dn wish to think about some stuffs. && oh ya mich told me how to shake my head w/o letting others know...i wished i could slap her real hard for being stupid! &&& we had tattoo class during the last hour of school. we drew each other...she drew a snake one my wrist.haha! stupid. alright. i shall wait for photos tmrw again:)

GOOD LUCK XIONG FOR YOUR TP!!! can one la...

原来...

im happy to know that he was worried sick...
twice within 24 hours...
never felt like that before.

I loved to know the fact that my love actually missed me or even wished that i could be there with him when he is going through whatever he is going through.I wish to shower him with all my love knowing that its worthwhile...Trying to do things or even run simple errands for him willingly.

I wish to see love in the morning when i go school at times...but i always worry about love gg home alone after that...Thats why i never expect that before...I also hate that my love will be doing things alone when i should be by him. When girls approach will love give the you-think-i-care stare? i dont think so, cause he's the Mr.Nice guy... I want love to gain my trust and make me trust him wholeheartedly. I hate it when my love lie or hide things from me... Just like a game of hide-and-seek, SHADY. Being honest is an important element to maintain the relationship.

I want to get appreciated when i make effort, just like love.I never like the one-way ticket idea...You should always give and take...I want to be more forgiving like love.I dont want to be the best girlfriend cause i know i am alr:) but im not perfect. i know i might not be special to any, but at least i know im special to love...Just like he is special to me.

To be honest i dont know why im typing this post... My love have been good so far. There will definitely be bumps here and there but we got over fast. Many have invested confidence in our relationship too...i dont take that for granted and i am happy that many wished us too...i guess i know why im typing this post alr...CAUSE I MISS MY LOVE & I ONLY GET TO SEE HIM LATER AT NIGHT:( i took a nap in the afternoon yesterday & i dreamt about love...

i shall declare that i got hit by the BOBBY VIRUS...

ps; if you dont care, do you think i care?try me & we'll see whose the one w/o the balls...you know i know....you dont know:)

Anyway school was only like 3 short hours. All we got to see was MR LAM. For the very first time, i did his practical & completed it. It was Smooth. Then school ended at 12pm so the girls thought of gg amk hub for the curry fishhead. Me and cath shared a pot=x while agnes mich and angela shared another...and i ate one and a half plate of rice!!! shared with cath... i was really happy:) Mich told me that shes very shock and happy to know that im going:) i felt so appreciated to make the effort despite of me being lethargic. After gobbling down curry fishhead, we went to coffeebean to chill. Joked & gossip like the old times and mich laughed till she teared...Angela was very tired and was then kind of quiet. Then she suggested that we head home so there we go...HOME. me and cath took bus 22. She dozed off at many occassions. i reached home at 4 pm plus..god, agnes must be sleeping already... i reached home & i K.O.

oh ya! ANGELINA SCANLON(VB COACH) IS EXPECTING HER THIRD BABY! She name her, KAYA. cause shes craving for kaya toast....

"
Hi everyone,

The Scanlons would like to annouce that we are expecting our 3rd child.
Yea, I know. We are as shocked as you are. And James is still holding on to his seat.
Both Brighid and Shannon are very excited.
We decided to name it Kaya for now. Cos I am constantly, crazily craving for kaya toasts.
Kaya is 10 weeks old now.

Brighid, Shannon and I will be back in Singapore 20 Jun to 19 Jul and we look forward to catch up with those in Singapore then.

Enjoy the shock!
Cheers,
James, Angel, Brighid, Shannon & Kaya ""


So i guess, The real vb gathering will be REAL SOON. anwyay tmrw theres one. HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL....hmmm....we will be gg hotpot culture i heard. tmrw will be a busy day...nana.BUT SCHOOL STARTS AT 11am and ENDS at 1pm...how cool or it might end even earlier cause theres test....argh...

AND! I WENT DOWN TO NTUC WITH MY PARENTS AND COUSIN TO ET SOME GROCERIES!
the girls were like talking about it today...haha! we all love to shop for groceries with PARENTS! &&& i BOUGHT RAINBOW ICE CREAM! im so happy...its so colorful:D & bf is jealous:x


ps;miraculously,i didnt meet my bf at all today cause im simply too tired:) missed him v much...






i really need to blog about school, field trips(newater),6th anni with boy, driving, me and some random outings with the boy and guys or even family?!

i had a bowling session with precious today and i won one game! i striked once=x and i had many gutter balls! muahaha! & chilled as carl's jr till late after that... ouhyea.talking about girls and blablabla. talking about goodol'times.

oh ya! random stuffs i told him this,"you si liao ji bai".
he thought i scold him,"you si lao .. ...".
he was freaked out!


&&& im so tired. bubbye. waiting for pictures to roll in for newater and will blog...SOON.


Few years back, a factory called,"J- - -" produced 4 pairs of chopsticks. The 8 individuals were very dependent of each other. Nothing could break them apart,even when if one or few of it felt weak,the others will support them and be there for them throughout the whole process. After 4 years of cooperation, the 8 individuals separated. They all left the factory to pursue their own dreams be it whether it was their choice or not. Everyone of them struggled for the first year and got used to things after that. They do meet up randomly, but some just gone MIA-ed. Now that everyone has got their own life, things were different. All of them have their own new friends now or even have their own goals now.Some might be living their life peacefully, some might be living in guilt,some might be living in hatred, some might be living happily,some might be wild. There was a pair of chopsticks who used to be very close to each other but for some reasons, they will never ever be that close again. One felt guilty and one felt hateful. Guilty tried to talk to hateful a few times but...the conversation always ended when hateful starts to get busy like she always was. But to guilty, maybe shes not ready to speak to her yet.

anyway, i dont know what more to say. It seemed to me like, im the one causing all the awkwardness in the team. Everyone is wondering how will gathering be when coach get back to town.She will get good news from me & bad new from some. Or rather, when she know the truth behind everything, she will scold me. Did i made the wrong decision? Or some are just being bitchy like usual. I wont stop anyone from bitching as it was also one of my hobby. But i just cant imagine what they bitched about though, how cruel will they be or what. But the fact that i got to admit is, the decision i made let me gain more happiness but the decision made me lose a good friend. Sometimes when i saw her online, i wished i could talk to her but im scared. I tried before...& i didn't receive a good response.Sometimes when i go back to jy for vb, i do miss her presence...i do mention her to teammates and juniors who were present at the training.

Moral of the whole post;
If I'm the cause, i wont be appearing for the gathering when it happens just to prevent any awkwardness that will put some in a difficult situation. But still, i wont admit that im at total fault.I'm living life happily though its not that perfect cause i left a puzzle that was part of my life in my locker. Hope i will get it back when the time is right.
I'AM A CERTIFIED DRIVER NOW:)
i can drive all i want.
bf made an effort to wait for me and be there for the whole session,thankyou.
Everyone is happy for me from what i know but im not very happy though.
not going to blog everything today...
AT LEAST I KNOW THAT MY SISTER AND MY COUSINS ARE HAPPY FOR ME.
i could only rmber sitting on the couch tearing when i should be smiling happily.
maybe someday when im happier i will blog the details,im sorry.


PS; DEMERITS = 10 points:) not happy with it,i was able to pass with 2 points initially.
& the first hug i get after all the trembles was from my sister though shes not supposed to be the first one who saw me.

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1. On my way to school today, Daddy and i talked abou...
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3. ''Poets often use many words to say a simple thing...
4. omg! I super cant wait to celebrate BOB's bday tmr...
5. THE END
6. Sometimes i do think back. i guess its miscommunic...
7. Dedicated to my love,DARYL TAN CHIN HAN:)honey, th...
8. LOVE the way that lil girl clung onto me when she ...
9. 妈妈对我说,"我从没看过怎么烂的人."好想对妈妈说我就是那个烂人. i cant talk to a...
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